Drones with Flamethrowers are Now a Thing

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11:12 PM HKT, Fri January 18, 2019

As we descend rapidly, uncontrollably, into a future governed only by our own thirst for excess, a new challenger has appeared to melt the glue from Icarus’ wings:

Yup. Flamethrowing drones are a thing now. Nothing to be worried about here. Just remotely-operated, airborne hellfire.

The drone was developed in the city of Chongqing, for the intended purpose of clearing harmful obstacles from trees and powerlines. Have we considered that it also introduces a harmful obstacle, namely, rolling licks of flame that answer only to the call of an individual far removed from the scene?

Jesus. Christ. No amount of try-hard Game of Thrones references will make this seem anything short of terrifying.

I mean, it’s quite badass, in an “embracing the end of days” kind of way. Obviously we all want to pilot it. But doesn’t that irresistible call to arson make it all the more worrying?

It’s 2019, and drones will deliver your Starbucks, or your fiery demise. Sweet.

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