Photo of the day: JT’s Fake Ink

This week’s photo theme is: Bad Chinese Tattoos. Self-explanatory.

When not busy reinventing himself (with mixed results), Justin Timberlake has also been known to sport some pretty bad 汉子 tats, albeit temporarily.

Above are a few snaps from him done up for his role as Frankie Ballenbacher in 2006 crime drama Alpha Dog, which currently ranks a middling 54% on Rotten Tomatoes.

As part of a roundup of bad movie tattoos, Cracked reports:

The fundamental premise of Alpha Dog is that maintaining a gangster image and lifestyle is essential. But Timberlake’s research seems only to have extended as far as picking out the characters that look kind of cool. So instead of choosing words like “stab” or “violence,” his body is adorned with words like “feng,” “tu,” “shui” and “huo,” the characters for “wind,” “earth,” “water” and “fire,” just one step short of summoning Captain Planet. But, we suppose all of those elements could be used to kill somebody one way or another, so we can let that slide.

But the characters on his bicep spell out “liubing,” the Chinese word for “ice skating.”

Yes, the one activity it is impossible to look badass doing, unless it’s in the context of a hockey game. If you’re ever running from a murderous street gang, by far the best way to escape is to strap on some skates and cross a frozen pond; they won’t pursue for fear someone is watching them (try it!).

Oof harsh but true.

[UPDATE: Reader You Zhanli points out that “ice-skating” (溜冰) is Chinese slang for doing crystal meth. So, G-pass restored we guess!]

Anyway, here’s a better Alpha Dog:

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Article Feb 15, 2018