Kowtow and Get Out: How I Was Almost Ejected from the Forbidden City

In 1793, the British diplomat Lord George Macartney nearly scuttled his trade mission when he famously refused to kowtow to the Qianlong Emperor. When representatives from the Qing court informed Macartney they expected the standard protocol of submission in imperial audiences, the pompous British envoy riposted, “I will get on two knees before my God, and one knee before my king, but the idea of a British gentleman prostrating himself before an Asiatic barbarian is preposterous!

Macartney was just one in a long line of foreign visitors to China who had to make the decision of whether to take a deep knee bend and satisfy imperial etiquette or remain standing and risk looking like a pretentious barbarian.

After all this drama getting foreigners to perform a kowtow at the palace, imagine my shock when last week a kowtow nearly got this foreigner thrown out of the Forbidden City.

It happened while I was demonstrating the ritual for a group of travelers as we stood in the large plaza in front of the Hall of Supreme Harmony, the most important structure in the palace and where the emperor would preside over special ceremonies. It’s something I’ve done for students and visitors for years. Sometimes they even join me.

On this occasion though, as I took to my knees and pressed my forehead to the bricks, a young man in an oversized official-looking polyester uniform came bounding across the yard:

“Get up! Get up! No worshipping or paying obeisance allowed! Get up!”

His enthusiasm for curtailing anachronistic ritual practice ebbed a bit when I turned around and he saw that I was not some renegade unreconstructed Manchu monarchist, but, in fact, a foreigner.

“He’s not praying,” my colleague told him. “He’s demonstrating a story.”

Which was true. I was telling the story of the Manchu conquest and describing the coronation of Aisin-Gioro Fulin, the first Qing emperor to rule from Beijing. There was no intended meaning behind my gesture. But Spanky McRulebook was having none of it.

“Worshipping and paying obeisance is strictly forbidden. Anyone who does these things will be banned from the palace museum.”

Summoning as much bluster as he could, he told us in no uncertain terms:

“No praying!”

Well then.

It was a minor incident and I ultimately was allowed to stay in the palace and finish my tour. But it left a distinct impression: What strange goings on at the palace have caused officials to strictly prohibit kowtowing to the throne room?

Is there a rash of unreconstructed Manchu monarchists that nobody is talking about?

In fact, I have seen, at both the Forbidden City and the Temple of Heaven, groups praying and kneeling in ritual. A month ago, a group of about a dozen middle-aged visitors to the Temple of Heaven kneeled atop the Round Altar as their leader orchestrated a series of chants. Earlier this spring, a group of very elderly citizens spent the better part of an hour kneeling, kowtowing, and chanting in the general direction of the Hall of Supreme Harmony at the Forbidden City. But up until this week, I’d never seen anyone from the park or palace staff so much as even glance in their direction.

Perhaps some higher up is concerned about the 19th Party Congress implications of elderly kowtowers plus one plus-sized history teacher?

I asked my new friend Spanky and he wasn’t keen on discussing the political context or the rationale behind the decision. In fact, asking him just caused him to sweat through his polyester as he marched sullenly back to his security perch.

The kowtow long ago entered the political lexicon as synonymous with an unpleasant and generally forced submission and admittance of inferiority in dealing with another party. But it’s also an important part of ritual practice in China, even today. It would appear this ritual – antique though it might be — remains potent.

It also seems that the Party and its various organs are not going to brook any challenges to their legitimacy or authority, no matter how anachronistic or silly.

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WATCH: Car Crash Sets Off Bizarre, Endless Domino Effect

We all love dominoes. Not the actual game – that’s for empty afternoons at your grandma’s house. The only redeeming aspect of dominoes is the domino effect, setting them up and watching them crash down one by one. For years, YouTube was bubbling over with nonsense domino set-ups, schemes, and arrangements. But recent surveillance footage has captured what might be the most powerful domino user of all time.

The clip, taken on July 17 in Hunan, China, shows a carefree driver crashing directly into a lane divider on an otherwise empty road. The divider gives up completely, throwing itself down, segment-by-segment, in a beautiful arcing display of contempt for the drivers’ abilities. The effect continues for hundreds of meters into the distance (watch the small human form at the ten second mark break into a full-on sprint to avoid the imminent fury of the lane divider).

Is this domino user the chosen one?

Radii Happy Hour, July: The Other Place

If you’re in Beijing this Friday, July 28, come join the Radii team for drinks and merriment at The Other Place, a hutong bar with an impressive bottle beer collection. We’ll start at 7 pm. Until 8 pm, all cocktails and draft beers are buy-one, get-one-free.

Come talk about the site, life in China, and anything/everything to your heart’s content.

Address:

1 Langjia Hutong (off Beiluoguxiang) :: 郎家胡同1号(近北锣鼓巷北口)

Google Map

Baidu Map

Hope to see you there!

 

Zhibo: Live Streaming is the Future of Travel Blogging

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You know, I don’t really have a good sense of how facepalm-ingly obvious some of my streaming *discoveries* are, but I’ve got a particularly self-evident one for y’all this week: live streaming is the future of travel blogging.

See, when I’m not moonlighting as rejected Marvel Hero Captain Obvious, I try to spend as much time as possible traveling – my hope perhaps being that enough *likes* on my my newest Facebook photo album will somehow vindicate my refusal to just come home and get a real job. Last week I was in Nepal and at time of writing I’m up in northern Michigan – subtle changes in scenery be damned.

 

Pictured: a study in contrast

So naturally – this being the first time I’ve left China since my life started revolving around monologuing at my phone – I’ve been trying to zhibo as much as possible to see what kind of abroad potential Yingke has.

Short answer? Lots.

(Of course, I didn’t get into live streaming to practice my brevity.)

Zhibo – to steal from Christopher Nolan – is the travel blogging solution not that China needs, but perhaps the one it deserves. Without wishing to sound too much like the curmudgeonly old man who thinks things were better when people used to “really talk to each other,” there’s no question that the 21st century attention span is not what it once was. If you’re living in a Chinese city today, you are a) really goddamn busy and b) bombarded by a million things all competing for your attention every second of every day. When it comes to practical ways people actually absorb interesting new information, 10 minutes with a smartphone on the subway takes the gold.

Enter live streaming.

One of the top five questions that I get asked over and over and over again while streaming is “这是在哪里?” or “where are you/where is this?” The answer has always been “Beijing” up until now, but I’m finding quickly that Yingke’s audience is very interested in seeing streamers broadcast from outside of China. When I started streaming from the Beijing airport last week, I quickly found myself on the *hot door* – front page – of the app with tens of thousands of people all wanting to know about my (really not that interesting) travel plans. While in Nepal, the few times my WiFi connection was strong enough to stream successfully all resulted in great numbers and surprisingly varied conversations that – for once – were less about my peculiarities as a foreigner and more about the strange *not China* place that I was currently broadcasting from.

Now that I’m in America, the interest is unsurprisingly even higher. Love it or hate it (and it’s usually closer to the “love” end of the spectrum) most Chinese people are interested in seeing what America is really like – and not just because it’s a faraway/exotic/rich land. Chinese media is absolutely saturated with all things American – movies, fashion, politics, and ads for just about every product you could think of — and yet most people in China have never had a chance to go see the place for themselves. I may condescendingly roll my eyes at people drawing broad conclusions about America based on the two square inches of background from my live stream, but it’s worth stepping back and considering that for most of the people I’m chatting with, this is literally the first view of America they’ve ever had that wasn’t being pushed in their faces for commercial purposes.

So for the last few days, I’ve just been showing my audience around the charming exotic land of Traverse City for 20 to 30 minutes at a time – sand dunes, the lakes, walks in the woods, and perhaps most importantly, just sitting at little coffee places showing off the truly bizarre sight of a cute little lakeside town in America going about its daily existence. Again, the idea that thousands of people would be interested in watching Suttons Bay or Traverse City simply exist may seem odd – until you remember that the millions of hours of worldwide mundanity immortalized on Facebook and YouTube are not, in fact, available to the Chinese public.

As I mentioned last week, China has a desperately underserved need for interaction with foreigners – not particularly deep interaction or with particularly special foreigners, just more opportunities to chat with people from other places. By extension, there’s a similarly underserved need to travel abroad. *Underserved* might seem like a strange word to describe the country with the fastest-growing tourism sector on earth, but there’s still hundreds of millions of Chinese people who a) have smartphones and an internet connection and b) have never had the chance to leave the country. Considering how few good sources of travel info the average PRC citizen has access to (between the heavily censored internet, lack of friends with relevant experience, and depressingly few well-translated travel guides that seem to appear in bookstores, deciding to travel abroad can be a pretty daunting decision), it couldn’t possibly hurt to have a few more foreigners regularly available to answer some straightforward questions about weather, transportation, cultural differences, etc.

So if you’re studying Chinese and are interested in zhibo-ing (side note: pretty amazing that I made it to week 6 before offering any kind of actual advice in this column) from abroad, here’s your chance to get some fun (and some cash) into your language practice! Food, local geography, landmarks, public transit – as long as you’re willing to sell a kidney or two for the data, there’s no end to the everyday things that millions of Chinese people would like to know more about before making big travel plans.

Just don’t eat any bananas.

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Yin: Hai Zi’s Haunting, Luminous Poem “September”

Soon after his suicide in 1989 at the age of 25, Hai Zi’s poems about nature, loneliness, and the fleeting nature of yearning and happiness began inspiring a generation of steadfast, fiercely idealistic young Chinese who sought romance, guidance and hope. One of his final poems, “Facing the Sea, with Spring Blossom,” might be his most memorable, but my personal favorite will always be “September,” in no small part because it was turned into a song by the same name.

September is a pastoral set in a distant, nigh indescribable, divine place in which life and death are constantly interacting. The speaker is alone in the strictest sense, but he doesn’t seem to mind – he plays music, leads horses, takes walks. You don’t need to know Chinese to feel the poem in this song: a sense that far isn’t far enough, that layered dimensions of pain and longing call to us, and that the distant horizon can only be death – which means the grassland on which we stand, playing music and performing everyday tasks, is life in the truest, grandest sense.

The music is by Zhang Huisheng, and it was first performed by Zhou Yunpeng, whose story deserves its own post sometime down the line. (He lost his eyesight at the age of nine, later learned to play the guitar and write poetry, and won a People’s Literature Award for song lyrics in 2011.) Until then, go give September a listen. I’ve got it on repeat as we speak.

Lyrics in Chinese and English here:

September

The wildflowers covering this land have witnessed the fall of gods,
Beyond is a far away wind that is far and farther still,
My qin wails, there are no more tears,
I return the Beyond back to this grassland.

This is called wood, and this one horsehair; my qin wails,
There are no more tears.

This Beyond exists only in death, congealed, a pool of wildflowers.
The mirrored moon hangs above this grassland for a millennia still.
My qin wails, there are no more tears.
Alone, spurring across this land of grass.

Original Youku link.

Yin (, “music”) is a weekly Radii feature that looks at Chinese songs spanning classical to folk to modern experimental, and everything in between. Drop us a line if you have a suggestion: [email protected].

Scooterist in China Dances in Protest After Getting Pulled Over

In Haikou on the Chinese island province of Hainan, one man on a scooter decided to resist traffic cops in the most amusing and best way possible.

We have That’s Online to thank for the clip, in which police first urge the man to get off his scooter for reasons unknown; uncomplying, the scooterist loses his shit, but in all-time fashion: throwing his arms in the air like he just don’t care, bouncing his scooter up and down like a lowrider, executing the infamous dance-floor “karate kick” move, ducking out of the policemen’s grasp and crab-shuffling in the middle of the g’damn street. It’s a masterpiece of resistance.

Here’s the video set to music, which you do most definitely need:

WATCH: Scooter Driver Loses It after Getting Pulled Over in China (That’s Online)